Who is the Bad Home Cook?

…Just me.

I hope you’re not here looking for an expert cook, or a master pastry chef who also happens to take photos you want to lick right off your computer screen.

Because that ain’t me.  Move along, buddy.

I may be the only food blogger out there who’s never seen an episode of Rachel Ray or Iron Chef. I haven’t written a cookbook. I’ve taken two cooking classes and those only recently. I’ve been fired from both my waitress gigs.

I grew up in the ’70s and ’80s with a mom who had no interest in food or being behind a stove, but instead embraced all the processed food industry had to offer. There was lots of hostess products. Salads of iceberg. Kraft American cheese singles. Crockpot chicken over instant rice. When I came of age I could write a killer resume, but wouldn’t have been able to roast a chicken with a gun at my head.

Which was fine for years because I wasn’t interested. I was busy being a girl journalist and all, living on the cigarette and banana diet. But then I hit my ’30s and kids and domesticity started sounding kind of nice.  So I began trying to cook. Tragically, my upbringing was evident in every dish I attempted.

I used a steak knife to chop everything from onions to chicken.  I have — no joke — burned soup out of a can.

What am I doing writing a food blog then?

Because I WANT to be the kind of gal who can whip up onion tarts from scratch and fresh, unusual soups and feed my family and friends. I WANT to know about CSA boxes and the difference between Italian olive oil and Greek olive oil. I WANT to feed you and I want you to leave my house full. Also impressed.

Alas.

So yeah, I’m not the cooking expert you were looking for. But maybe I’m just like you — a regular, middle-aged mom trying to keep it all together and feed the kids and pay the rent and not drink too much cheap red wine at night. No glamor. No assistants. No professional kitchen or staff.

And I’ve gotten a lot better in the six years I’ve been writing this blog. The recipes are worthy, so what if it takes me a couple of tries to get it right?

I’ve been a featured blogger on TypePad and BlogHer. I’ve been mentioned in the LA Weekly. There’s the Facebook page. And a lot of this stuff can be fairly entertaining. I’ve been a writer for newspapers and magazines lo these many years, and honestly, this blog is my unfettered screed on a topic nobody would ever actually pay me to write about.

So c’mon. Pour yourself a glass of wine and read on through. You might laugh. You might actually learn from my mistakes, too.

I did finally get a chef’s knife. That’s helped a lot, actually.