God DAMN the pusherman…
News item: A widespread shortage of Trader Joe’s Cookie dough butter plagues the nation.
Overheard in my local Trader Joe’s:
A woman approaches “the pit” (where the managers work), where I’m standing yakking away to any number of friends.
“Excuse me. Do you have anymore of that cookie dough butter? ”
“Sorry, ma’am, it’s sold out.”
The woman looks at the manger, makes a mental calculation, and presses her palms together in prayer.
“Really,” she says. “I know you probably have one or two jars in back. Can’t I buy one of them?”
The manager shakes his head. “I’m not joking. It’s sold out. We get one box of this stuff every morning and it’s typically gone by 9 a.m.”
I’d been told this a few weeks earlier, but didn’t quite believe it. Trader’s is notorious for hooking you on a product and then dropping it from distribution.
The woman looks crushed.
The next day, and I’m there (of course). THE SAME THING HAPPENS! Another woman. Another request. Another crushing fail. This one didn’t even try to get the alleged employee stash. (which, I’m assured by close sources, I could access myself if needed…because I’m practically a reserve employee at this point.)
But I took pity on this civilian and offered up a tip. “They open at 8 a.m. Get here and buy three jars.”
Then I ask the manager: “If you get one box that sells out by 9 a.m., isn’t it time to start ordering more boxes?”
He shoots me a look that suggests it’s not my place to ask. Fine. Fine. I continue my shopping.
None of this affects me. I still have a jar of cookie dough butter. I miscalculated the Drama Teen’s appreciation, and I’m afraid to go near it myself. So it sits.
Maybe I should bring it with me next time I’m in TJs. Sounds like there might be a black market for half-jars…
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
My husband will buy your jar, no questions asked. Set your own price!
When will you be in the parking lot of TJs? Will you be wearing a trench coat, dark glasses, and a wig? I have seen something similar at Target – it’s called cookie dough spread and is next to the peanut butter and nutella (that makes it healthy, right?)
I cannot wait to get a Trader Joe’s in Austin so I can get addicted to things I can’t have!